9 posts tagged “japan”
It's felt like time for my monthly blog posting.
I don't know why but I seem to be dragging my feet on then blogs these days. I don't even use facebook that much, and I haven't been on MSN or Skype in ages.
I sometimes worry I'm losing touch with people
It's happened over a long period of time, but just recently I am realizing how long ago Japan has now been for me. I'm more comfortable with my current life in Vancouver, but there are times I still feel nostalgic for those good old days.
That's me ignoring the problems I had there, and forgetting the good things I'm doing here.
Best of all is Cloudscape, the comics collective. We'll be putting out our third book in April; Funday Sunnies a full-colour tribute to the newspaper strips of old. Check the website for more details:
www.cloudscapecomics.com
I'm very excited about this book, and even more excited about the conventions in April. I'll be in Seattle and Portland selling our books.
Hooo-boy! I have been away far too long. Ever since my return to Canada my blogging has fallen to the way-side. I blame facebook, and my own inability to value my time back in Canada.
Last month Takako came for a visit. We did all manner of things Japanese. trips to the Daiso, Kombiniya, Book-off, and Karaoke, and even feasted on a delicious Japa-dog, which reminded me that Japan is not really that far away from me. I even had fresh Takoyaki from an outdoor vendor at the Chinatown night market.
Seeing as she'd been in England the last year it was fun for both of us to remember Japan. Though we did also make time to check out "Krazy" at the Vancouver Art Gallery. Which is an excellent exhibit of comic book art. And I don't just say that because they're going to give cloudscape some space to set up a sales table this summer.
Speaking of which, while Takako was in town I also recorded this interview on Shaw TV.
I think we were well represented, and after Taka's departure we had a big launch party at Sophia books which was also a huge hit!
In general Cloudscape comics seems to keep hitting them out of the park. Which really gives me hope that issue two is going to really make a splash.
In spite of the positives of the Comics collective, I still find myself often feeling depressed, irritable, and negative. Everything seems to be exceedingly difficult to accomplish, and in spite of cutting my rent in half I seem to always be cutting it close every paycheque.
Then again work itself in frustrating. Becoming a full time retail clerk in time for the summer lull doesn't help. Every day at work I feel like I'm killing time and wasting my life and talents. But I can't seem to catch anyones attention in Design or commercial art. I'm really starting to feel like I'm not talented enough to make a living at art. And I'm feeling angry at myself for devoting my whole life to art. I look at my friends who studied other careers and draw in their spare time. They get to enjoy their craft without starving to death on the streets. I on the other hand have nothing to offer.
Now if you are reading this, and you want to send me some uplifting message like "Hey, you are super talented, I love your artwork! Just give it some time" Please don't. I get compliments and pep talks all the time, sadly when I take them to the bank they don't help me buy groceries.
If you really want to help me then please point me in the direction of someone who will actually pay me CASH to draw, or come up with ideas, or edit, or design, or any other skill you think I excel at.
I went to the dentist last month because my teeth were bugging me. My parents and Grandpa has been kind enough to pay for two cavities to be dealt with. I apparently have two more, but I'm leaving them to rot till my bloody company gets me on the dental plan.
I also finally got some money back for the paint I put into my place. The landlord wasn't too happy about us improving this place, and now the work is stopped, but not finished.
Every time I do manage to scrape together a small amount of money the government promptly presents me with a bill for some such service or fee I will see no benefit from. Though that seems to be more a symptom of being low-income in the city of Vancouver, than a personal problem.
I hate how money keeps stressing me out.
Well that felt good to get off my chest, now I'm off to a cloudscape meeting where hopefully I can focus on the positives.
I've been feeling continually unsettled as of late. Like I am out of synch with the world.
Or perhaps far too in synch. I am realizing my worst dreams. I am wrapped up in the daily grind. Working from paycheque to paycheque and having very little to show for it.
I feel like I've become more distant and estranged from family and friends now than I ever was in Japan.
Ah Japan. It haunts me now. These mementos and photographs. Records of a second life I walked away from. Returning instead to Vancouver to slide my feet back into the familiar and comfortable shoes of a struggling artist/retail clerk. There are still days I get hit with a strong sense of ennui and nostalgia. Longing to return to those wild and carefree days. Or at least wild and carefree now, viewed in hindsight with all negatives filtered out.
Hopefully I will get my comic book published soon, so I can say I at least accomplished one thing after returning.
I bought a small Christmas tree yesterday and decorated it by myself. It triggered memories of my first Christmas in Japan. Cobbling together a makeshift Christmas party. trying to simulate all the food and traditions of home in a land that knew or cared very little for them. It was on of my best Christmases to date. Last night I felt gripped by a sadness I couldn't pin down.
I watched "It's a Wonderful life" a sort of chicken soup for the soul. So cheesey right? I guess so, but it did the trick. To be honest I don;t think I've ever empathized more with the main character. His hopes and dreams of travelling and being a huge success squashed by the seemingly pedestrian responsiblities of home. At least i made it to Japan for a few years eh?
But still what am I doing here now? What do I really want to do? If I could answer these questions I might be able to move forward.
I feel impatient and edgy, I want something to change.
I've been thinking about girls again too. But that is another area of my life in which I find no success, due mostly to the fact that I don't know what I want.
I hate coming off so moody and emo right now. I wish I could be one of those people who brim with self confidence and assertiveness.
Hello again!
I've been away an entire month! I blame facebook. And perhaps the general monotony of the last month.
I think that's been the hardest thing ab out being back. There's no more adventure anymore. Or at least no more time for it. Still I might be being overly dramatic. (My specialty these days it seems)
Still I think I've had a better go of things recently. I'm feeling more comfortable, and I've connected with some more friends both old and new. The turning point came from meeting up with someone who'd lived in Japan a few years (Thanks Mei!) I hadn't realized how much I needed to meet more people who had the same experiences. After that I met up with several other people who had lived with me in Kofu.
So I find myself feeling much less isolated. Now my birthday is around the corner. 27 years. That is kind of scary. I wish I could be doing a little more with my life at this point.
Ideally I'd still be globe trotting right now, instead of struggling to make ends meat.
A girl in my life would also be nice. I but perhaps I'm a bit too eager for that one to happen right now. Then again I did just go on a date, so things are not completely hopeless either.
The big thing for me right now is my career, or lack there of. I want to be doing more with my job, something more creative, and with more money. Maybe then I could save enough to do something interesting again.
Though I know I could be doing more about it.
It just gets hard, I find I'm either working, or wasting every moment of free time avoiding responsibilities.
The comic collective is going well however. It's been my silver lining in life. I'm very hopeful that I will be able to see this book published.
Hmmm this seems to be getting rather personal. But I don't really feel like there's much else to write about.
Hopefully there will be some birthday fun to post about, and maybe even some Halloween hijinx.
Hope you are doing well!
I've been feeling a bit of "former-home-sickness" recently. And wishing I could spend a few weekends in Tokyo with my good mate Steve. I regret that my Nihongo has fallen to the wayside in the last few months, but it's hard to practice over here, at least without devoting my evenings after work to going to Clubhouse. Even at Japanese restaurants they just keep speaking English even when I try to use Japanese.
I get all misty and nostalgic when people mention Ikebukuro, or the Yokohama tower. It makes me want to look for designer jobs in Tokyo.
Still, it's nice to have my family nearby. Though at times perhaps still too close ;) I am loving my new place, and I'm also happy to be reconnecting with the Vancouver comics scene.
But here's the rub. I wish I could do the job I am now, living where I am, but being paid what I was in Japan and being able to pop over to Tokyo on the weekends like I used to.
I often think of a conversation I had with Steve where we talked about a "Franken-country" where you could pick and choose the best from every country and make a whole new place.
I'm glad to be rid of the gossip, the cliques, and the sex tourists. If only I could bring the trains, the festivals, and the karaoke over here.
My Grandpa just had his 90th birthday over the weekend. It was kind of bittersweet. He still had a decent turnout, but I still got this sense of him being in decline, compared to before I left for Japan. My cousins didn't even attend his party due to commitments at Rock concerts, or the inconvenience of riding in a truck (meanwhile I booked time off work to attend!). I hope I never become so estranged from my family. I already see parallels between how my Dad and I interact and how he interacts with his father. It makes me worry.
On the positive me and my pal Nelson will be making our own beer. Nelson got the kit, and my place has a cold dark pantry which is currently not being used, so hopefully in Sept I will be fully stocked in my own signature "Strange Brew".
Lately I've been feeling restless and stressed out. Part of that might be my jobs. I really need to get back to having a two day weekend.
On Sunday my Dad, my brother and Jude came over and helped me rearrange my bedroom. My art table is now directly under the light and my bed is in the dark corner. Hopefully this will also get me more creative again. There's really no excuse now, except perhaps for time constraints.
Yesterday I made what will hopefully be my last household purchases for the next little while. My apartment finally feels "finished" which is good.
I also shaved my head, it's all been trimmed down to a #2 length. I think it looks better, though I admit there is still some vague hope that a high protein diet with some herbal hair treatments might buy me a few more years of hair. I kind of look at it as rebooting the whole top of my head. We'll see how my new look is received.
Still there are times I feel a sadness when I think of all I left behind in Japan. Sometimes I think that's why I brought so much back over with me. (A ridiculous amount to be sure). I'm still waiting for life to go "click" over here. Right now it still just feels like going through the motions. I missed those long loud nights in Japan, and those fleeting moments of connection with people. I almost feel like my life in Canada has passed it's best before date or something. So many of my friends have gone or moved on. Like there's an unspoken thought in peoples minds; Why the hell did you come back? We'd written you off and taken you from out hearts and now you come back and want to be important to me again?
Or at least thats how I feel some days.
This friday I'm having a house warming BBQ which should remind me that I still do have quite a lot of good friends in this city. Hopefully I'll have some pictures and stories to post.
Anyways Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows beckons.
Okay well still no more improv but I did spend some time today packing. I'm really excited about my apartment. I really think when I move out it's going to change things for me. I can't wait!
The other thing I did today was finish my Hello Kitty displays. While I was in Japan I collected a Hello Kitty Netsuke charm fromevery region of Japan I visited. (In some cases five or six per location, especially for my home prefecture.) My plan from the beginning was to frame up my map of Japan and attach all the kitty's to their location on the map. Eventually my collection of Tokyo train station Kitty's became large enough that they warranted their own separate display, so I picked up a train map before I left Japan.
So my job at Loomis allowed me to get a cheap frame for the maps. I even got them mounted behind plexiglass so i could preserve the maps and mount the kitty's solidly.
It took metwo days of using a hand drill and pliers, but I got them all attached, and ready for display in my new apartment.So for the benefit of some friends overseas who told me to post these as soon as it was done, and for anyone else wanting to see what a sad geek I can be. Here is my Hello Kitty collection in all it's glory. Hopefully with this done I can get back to the improv.
Also I just wanted to thank everyone who passed on sympathy and advice following my last post. I am doing fine. It was all very mutual, and I think it was for the best.
Here is a video I shot of the Kofu Daisuki (We love Kofu) Parade. This parades happens evewry year to celebrate the anniversary of my current cities foundation.
There were also fireworks the following weekend in the neighbouring town of Isawa.
Well I'm not really sure where to begin, so I'll just dive in and regret it later. I already have a blog on Livejournal, but I thought this looked like a better way to share my pictures and experiences of Japan.
To begin I'm going to look back at some past history. In my town of Kofu there is a big festival every April called the Shingen Kou Matsuri. It is a festival to celebrate Takeda Shingen, the former samurai warlord who ruled the area more than 400 years ago. In honour of his death, they have 'the cavalcade of the 24 generals' in which 24 lucky people get to dress in traditional armour and ride horses through the heart of the city. To participate one had to submit an application and then be selected through a random drawing. And I was lucky enough to take part.
It was a one of my highlights from my time in Japan. I had to wake up really early that morning and put on the armour before spending the rest of the day mounted on a rather irritable horse.
It was also quite a surreal experience, bobbing up and down along the road of the city I've called home for the past few years. Smiling and waving to friends and strangers alike.
A full gallery of the event along with a step by step of me getting into the armour should be found on this blog.
